new hair and new life :)

So my baby girl is 4 now and we had the most wonderful birthday parties for her in our new home and back with our family. I have met some of the most amazing people where I live now. I can say I have a new bff for sure! We have kids the same age and the love the heck out of each other. I have never seen Madison so happy with another little girl. Madison starts preschool the first week of November and she is super excited. We found this adorable christian church preschool for her.
Can I just say I love my job too? WOW for once in my life its like everything all around me is falling into place just like we planned. I mean I have always had love and friends that are awesome but I cannot think of anything else I want right now. Maybe another car LOL. Then a baby??? I have been working so freaking much baby making time has been cut to a minimum. Finally I am feeling like I have got into a groove with work and our life here. Sooooooooo maybe spring time to start trying again :) I have too much going on in the next few months to get preggo now. Tahoe next week, Disneyland in Feb, Vegas beginning of summer, Then Kauai trip coming up too. What can I say we are vacation fanatics. Would rather spend my money now having fun than die old with it :) Cannot wait til we visit spots like Ireland, New Zealand, Paris, Italy and Alaska to start lol. My list just keeps getting longer. Better start saving haha.

Time to open up

So I have not done this in a while and man how things have changed. I love where we are living so much. Life has been so peaceful and quiet. It is so crazy how much life can change in only a few months. I miss my friends and family but they have been visiting us often :) Heck it feels like we have a visitor here like every other weekend. This weekend my dad then second week in september mother in law coming for a whole week. Then my aunt and sister in law for a visit the end of september. Believe it or not I cannot wait for winter here and to see all the snow. I hate the cold lol but snow is just so beautiful.

My brother in law passed away on my birthday july 26th 2010 and it was a tough experience to go through. I found out at 2 am then had to work that day. WOW it was a long day. The week before he passed his final wish was to come see us, so we had him here for two days. It was so awesome to share time with him. When he got home his body just shut down. It was like he used his last ounce of energy to come see us. I am truly blessed to be a part of my husbands family. They are so loving and such a blessing.

Today marks the day I am 14 days late on my period....Its weird I dont feel pregnant so I find myself wondering if something serious is going on. Like a health issue but I am too scared to check :( Saturday im taking a test and if its negative I am going to force myself to go to the doctor. We shall see...............

Toasted

This week was nice :) Besides no period yet so I am all bloated, I got burnt so bad at santa cruz. Going to santa cruz was so nice though. It was a total girls day out. My daughter and I went with my friend and her two kids. We relaxed on the beach and played in the sand all day. Then went to the boardwalk and did some girly shopping. Finally some nice weather to go out in. Of course I got burnt to a crisp with my whiteness but it was fun doing it.

Fathers day is coming up and I cant wait for two days out of town with my love. He so needs a real vacation but that wont be until november. I meet on tuesday with a guy to go online and get my bachelors. It will take me two years but I know I am not happy just settling with where I am. I want to achieve more. Eventually work in labor and delivery :) So I hope I like what this guy has to tell me on tuesday and I can get started right away. Nice thing about schoool online is still being able to work. I also got offered back my old job but I am only gonna work two days a week until I see what goes on with this school. Finally things are getting better. Hope it stays that way.

how it changes in two day.......

OK not feeling so super now lol. For the last two days I been feeling like crap. I came out of Raileys yesterday and had to stop outside my car I nearly barfed what we just had for dinner. I wonder if I have a flu or something? I know it cannot be me being pregnant because I would not feel like this already. I have no clue what is going on with my body right now. I felt like this around the same time last month so I have a doctors appointment on June 2Nd because this shit has got to stop! I have not wanted to get out of bed and defiantly not motivated to go to the gym which pisses me off because I have been going religiously for a while and now have not went for two days :( Watch me go to the doctor then feel better LOL just my luck. Ahhh well til then I guess I will veg out for a bit. Went to see Shrek today which we all loved. Family time is so fun.

Feeling Super

This last week has been fun :) I finally got a night out alone with my love. Love is definitely in the air lately. Since we decided this month we were going full force baby mode its like we cannot stand to be apart. I am up texting him all night and he is doing the same to me. Since we have moved its been pretty calm. I actually feel relaxed right now so hopefully being that I am less stressed it will happen. Today he surprised me by telling me he has the next 5 days off! He took them off to spend some time with his family. So Saturday night we are going to a baseball game and watching some fireworks. Then we might go to the beach for a few days. So needless to say I am going to be super busy the next 5 days.

My baby girl is finally getting back to herself. She is slowly getting more restful sleep and complaining less about being in pain. She goes in June to check her heart and if that is clear we are done with this hopefully. It has been really tough feeling helpless when your child says she is in pain. Nothing seems to help it either. I pray this will be the end of it and we can move forward. What a blessing a new baby would be. She cannot wait to be a big sister we talk to her about it all the time. I am glad I waited so she can help and experience the whole thing with us.

Both my husband and I have been going to the gym every other day and I do a small workout on my off days. Finally my muscles are adjusting. I felt like dying the first week. He has totally shed pounds so fast and you can see it TOO! UGH men lose weight so fast. For me I can tell that things are fitting me differently. It has definitely helped us in the love department he he both of us are constantly complimenting each other and its such a turn on. We decided not to weigh ourselves just to work out and do it til we are happy with our bodies. I do not want to be counting pounds or calories. We have been eating more sensible but I hate diets. They end up failing eventually because we all have cravings for certain foods. Plus when I get preggo I cannot be on a diet anyways. I have been feeling more energetic and so has he. So end of June is when I would like to meet my first goal so we shall see :)

Sharing the love

Today I made a blog for my cousin. I hope it gets her all the help she needs. I am excited to see how things turn out :)

http://babyboss4.blogspot.com/

So after spending a day with my two beautiful cousins and their gorgeous babies...I am so in baby mode. I want one more than ever now and I don't really want to try because when you try it never happens. It happens when you are not trying lol. SO let me tell myself I am not trying HAHA. My daughter was so awesome with my cousin's 3 month old. She was touching her and making her smile. I think she wants a sister but I will be happy with either one. I have never wanted to get pregnant before so I started reading up on it lately. Who knew it took so much effort and precise calculations to make it happen. I am not going to track ovulation or basal temperatures that will just drive me insane. I also don't want sex to turn into lets make babies. That would make it more a chore rather than fun. So now that I think things are calming down maybe my body will decide its time. If not I am prepared to wait :) Being a mommy is so worth it.

Can I have magic healing powers???

The hardest thing I have ever had to do as a parent is wake up everyday for the last two weeks to my baby girl saying mommy carry me I hurt. She is now going through the arthritis and joint pain part from the KD. They say it can last up to 8 weeks and we are only on week 2 and a half. Tylenol does NOTHING and she hates the taste. Apparently Ibuprofen is no good because it interferes with the aspirin she is taking in the morning to keep her blood thin in case she is having any heart problems. Well I was really scared to look into the disease and see what it was all about but I did yesterday. I joined the kawasaki diesease foundation. Some things on there are scaring me. Kids getting it like 3 times and others having serious joint and immunity problems. I may be the paranoid mom but this all frightens me. I go from a kid that never complains or gets sick to.. a cranky irritable child in pain. It has been some rough days. Then to stick with all the stuff I started prior to this has been hard too. I have not been able to start work because she is still needing to be monitored. So I am going stir crazy being home alot. She cannot do anything too long because she hurts and the doctors say to keep her away from any thing she can get serious injuries from like playgrounds. So we are so limited on what we can do. I take her on walks or go to the mall and shop. For now it will have to be take it easy time for a while.

I am going to be driving to the stockton area this week because my brother in law is having a major bowel resection surgery. I also need to see my grandma that broker her hip. I am feeling a little better now that my period started. Hopefully this next month will calm down and I can focus on just me and my family. Its not good to be trying to make a baby when there is alot of stress around you so we have not started trying yet. Also our daughter is our main priority right now. When she is all better my hubby and I have a trip planned in july for my bday for us to get away. We are thinking of two really fancy places. Both places with themed rooms should be fun. We need some alone time after all this.

Beautiful day

My baby and my cousins baby sleeping madison does not like her comforter so she hangs it on the side of her bed hehe. We are getting her a twin bed soon with a new bed set :) She is a big girl.

Today we got our Carrie Underwood tickets in the 3rd row :) Todd loves her so this will be really for him. I mean I like her too but not as much as him. We also seen my cousins baby that is 2 weeks old and O so adorable. Makes me want one even more. He is so tiny and precious. Madison loved holding him. She is going to be an awesome help I can tell. Finally today was a wonderful day. The weather is great and I am getting my new Dyson vacum tonight. WOOT no more dog hair haha. Now what to decide for tomorrow. Its going to be beautiful again and we need to get out and enjoy it. After monday hopefully I will find out why I have been so sore and worn out. Doctors appointment here I come. Then hopefully all the bad health issues in my family will get better for everyone. I need a break from the stress.

My past is behind me

So sometimes it takes something scary to happen in your life to wake you up to who and what really counts in life. I have always put my family first but I know I can do more to make sure I am there for them both 100%. Now that we have moved I can focus on them and not worrying about who I will see or what people say. I am away from it all finally and if feels so nice to be free. I go to sleep every night feeling content and at peace. I don't really care who reads up on me or looks at my stuff because I know I have left that awful place and life has not been better. No more battles for me YOU win! I choose to leave my past behind :) and to build on my future with my family. I forgot I am so excited about taking Todd to go see Carrie Underwood! He loves her and he has always went with me to see music I love so now its all about him. I like her too but he LOVES her haha. We both decided to get our tattoos done by June. He wants Madison's face tattooed on his back and I have two I want :) My ankle I am going to get something to do with my family not sure yet. But on my back I am getting my pinup girl Bettie page baseball tattoo! Its going to hurt like hell with how big its going to be. Its going to cost alot for both of ours so we are going to save up til June to get them. Plus we are both super picky about who does them. We have to know it will not be sloppy or unoriginal. I know where I want mine done but he is aiming high LOL he wants Kat Von D to do his or someone in her shop. We will have to wait and see about that haha.

I also know I misjudged someone and felt really bad about it. Now that we are talking again I feel so much better. I know I will have to rebuild my trust with them and try harder than ever to show I want to be their friend again. The time and effort is truly worth it. I know that I feel so much better now that I am attempting to undo something I did that was so wrong. I know I am a stubborn person and make mistakes but realizing that you made them is HUGE!

My hubby went back to work today after having 13days off and I miss him so much! I have been so used to having him here all the time. I hate that we will both have to work for now. As soon as I get my bachelors that will be done because I can work 3 12hour shifts and be home more. With the money he can afford to work less as well. At least we have opposite schedules so we don't have to have our daughter grow up in day care. She starts preschool in June. We have to wait til she gets her echo cardiogram before she can start or at least I will feel better when she has it. I am the overprotective mom that wants to make sure she is totally healthy before she starts. She is doing well thank god. I never felt so much support as I did when she was sick. So many people made the far trip to come see her. I was overloaded with messages on facebook and texts daily asking for updates on her. I am so grateful for the wonderful people in our lives.

moving forward

So now that the storm has calmed down, I finally feel relaxed and at home. I love our new place so far. We had a blast at tiesto as always :) I loved dressing up and having people tell me how cute I looked. I had a girl follow me into the bathroom to take a picture with me because she loved my outfit so much. Then this Asian girl was all over me on the dance floor lol. She asked if she could take me to her room. I told my hubby and he thought it was funny because I am so totally anti-female. Women just will not ever do anything for me. But it was extremely flattering. I felt super sexy all night. My hubby looked so hot too. Could not keep my hands off of him. I do have to say I prefer the massives more than the clubs. I have never been a bar or club kind of girl. People at bars are just so moody and looking for a piece of ass. Then at massives its all about love of music and dancing.

Today I am going to pick up madison's first sleep over play date :) She is going to have a blast. I am going to go all out. Bought avatar for them to watch or Alvin and the chipmunks the squeakual. Got some glow sticks for the night time and plan on some ice cream time too. I cannot wait to do more as she gets older. I want to be the cool mom that hooks up the sleepovers. :) I am so happy she is feeling better Kawasaki's disease is no joke. She is still sore but alot better and in need of some company. My dad bought her this giant stuffed dragon and she named it Kawasaki lol she is so freaking adorable. I love her to death.

family events

Isn't he adorable??? Now I really want another one :)


So my grandma fell and broke her hip which totally sucks because now they have to do a full hip replacement on her. She already has Parkinson's which makes it hard for her to walk so I don't know how well this is going to work out for her. I have been at the hospital almost everyday for the last two weeks. With my brother in law there for his cancer, my grandmother and her hip, and last night my closest cousin had her baby boy. What a scare that gave me. He came out not breathing for like 7 MINUTES!!! Just as they were about to stick a tube down him he started breathing on his own. Thank you god for answering a room full of prayers. His cord was around his neck and scared the crap out of all of us. He is doing great now and such a cutie.

I have no clue how I am going to get all my packing done. It feels like when we get settled down about one thing, another thing pops up. We decided not to buy the home we were going for because we got offered an amazing deal on another one that we could not pass up. So we are still moving just not to where we had planned. Sometimes life throws you curve balls and you just have to deal with it. I just want to be out of where we are and away from people. I got offered a new job as well with a HOSPITAL omg that could not be passed up as well. This place is going to pay for my bachelors if I sign a five year contract with them :) Why the hell not with awesome pay and school paid for its a given. Todd and I are planning a little get away in two weeks so we can take a break from this madness lol. So hopefully by the beginning of next month things will be calmed down. Then with less stress its time to try to add a lil one to our family. I cannot wait to expand our happy home. Now we will have lots of room to do so hehe.

GOOD bye

Packing is moving along slowly but surely. I cannot wait to be moved! Then its time to start trying for our next lil one :) We have been waiting til we move so it will be less stress. Finally we can just focus on us. No more family or friend worries. I guess I am pretty selfish about my family because I would love to just have life be about me and my family. Who cares what happens in other peoples lives?

Next weekend is Tiesto again BABY! Such a lucky girl to have so much going well. Tiesto right before we move sets it off right. He is an amazing artist. I cannot get enough of him. My hubby loves him too which makes it so much fun. We dance the night away til our feet hurt. Cant wait.....

Let the planning begin

So the hubby and I have decided for our five year wedding anniversary we are going to Kauai because we loved it so much the first time. This time it will be even more special. We have decided to renew our marriage vows on the beach. I cannot wait! I have started searching where we want to do it and what I want to wear. Just need to make sure I have a baby before or after the date we set haha. I dont want to be preggo again when we make plans just like before. O well when it happens it happens. I am so lucky to be blessed with such a loving happy marriage. The planning is on :) Now this is something worth spending a pretty penny on hehe. Good thing I'm getting IV Certified in a week so my pay goes up to $30 and hour. I love a job with the more education you have the more you get paid.

I am so lagging on packing lol. I hate packing. I have decided this time there is alot of stuff I never use I just need to get rid of. Maybe give it all to the goodwill. Someone else will use the stuff and it will make me feel good not to just throw it out. I hate wasteful people. I also hate name brand people. The ones that HAVE to have name brand clothing or purses. I have the money to get all these things but I hate being trendy. Or people that have to pay to make themselves look hot. Fake bodies and images are so retarded. If you work hard to have a body that makes yourself happy then so be it. To pay to look good is just plain stupid. People will not like a person any more with name brand clothes or a phony body. It is what is on the inside that counts. It will all go south eventually and if you have someone that loves you for you then you would never have to worry about that. I am just so happy I can be me and be loved for who I am not who I want to be.

Alot going on

This week has barely begun and I feel like its been so crazy. Yesterday got my dog fixed, I am not one to allow my animal to randomly get pregnant. Then went to the doctor my lil one has her first ear and sinus infection. I am sick with a nasty cold too I might add which has made me want to lay in bed all day but cant do that. Then mailed off all the paperwork for our new place. Fingers crossed we get it. We turned in our 30 day notice to this place because I know we will get it :) I am so lucky to have my hubby he went and got me Marie Callendars soup because I was so sicky. Then we watched Law Abiding Citizen which was a total epic movie. We both loved it.

Today we packed up the garage and a few other things. I know its going to fly up on us quick. We went grocery shopping and now I let my man go out with his friend for the night because all I want to do is sleep. He never goes out and his buddy wanted to go play poker. I dont mind my hubby always takes everyones money hehe. I even bought him a poker shirt that say "I bought this shirt with your money" lol. So nyquil here I come and hopefully a good night sleep ahead.

My light of my life

So my dog Suki chewed up my daughters snuggle pup! The puppy she has slept with since she was a year old. She flipped out. Thank GOD they still sell them at target. They are called webkinz. So not only did I have to go get her a new one, grandma had to sew the old one. So now she says she has a boy and a girl snuggle pup lol. She is so adorable. I was crushed to see her so upset like it was her baby. I knew she was attached to him but never expected a reaction like that. She has never acted like that over any of her toys. She is always very sharing and generous with her toys. The other day at the park a little boy told her she could not go down the slide and she just started crying instead of being mean to him. I told her to ask him nicely and say excuse me and it worked :) She is growing up so fast. I cannot wait for us to have another and to see madison interact with a baby will be so awesome.

I am so excited about tomorrow but I am nervous too?? I wonder why?? I think its finally setting in that we are moving for good and that we are starting a new life in a new town. I am totally nauseated tonight hope I can sleep. It is a long drive tomorrow and I will be doing alot of it. I just hope madison can handle being in the car that long! Future here we come.

The sun is shining on me

I saw my grandpa today after I got off work and he is doing well. This makes me so happy! His surgery went well and the cancer is the non aggressive kind so they took it out :) This dark cloud looming over me this whole week has lifted. Still have not been able to eat right with my nerves being shot worrying about him. We had the most wonderful conversation. He is always on me about school and what my plans are for our future. He knows I got into a program for a bachelors but did not know where. When he found out it was an actual university and also in the area he went to school he got so happy. He said he loved living there and wished my grandmother would have moved back with him. He said the area I am going to check out on Sunday is all really nice so not to worry about it. He told me he is so proud of me and how wonderful my life has turned out. I told him when I get my bachelors how my hubby wants to go back to school as well. Its never too late to start :) I was just so happy to see him smile and tell him I love him.

Today I think my mother in law came to accept the fact that we are moving. Everytime we talked to her about it she avoided the conversation. But today she showed up at our house to watch my daughter with sandals and a new swim suit. She told my daughter these are for where you are moving to. You can wear them when you go to the beach. When we left last time she was super upset. This time I think she will be more especially with knowing we are trying for another baby and my brother in law has pancreatic cancer. We have tried to stick around and be there for her but the time has come to do what is best for our family. So a new life awaits us with new jobs, school, house and bodies :) Both of us started this diet plan with a work out specialized for your build its sweet. Although I have not been able to start it because eating is not interesting lately. He has started it and lost 5lbs in a week the right way lol. I am going back full blonde soon and thinking of growing my hair out. I cannot wait to go see our new city sunday!

WINNER!

So I just won a Blackberry Bold 9700 from a contest I entered in. I am super excited because I decided to start entering into sweepstakes and contests and I cannot believe I won. I have only been doing it for a month and won already. I want to win some trips or new washer and dryer would be nice :) After having such a down week I really needed this. Tomorrow I go to the hospital to see what is going to happen with my grandpa and his cancer :( I have to work tomorrow and Saturday too kind of burnt out on work lately. I guess when you do 25 hours in two days that will do it to you.
Sunday we make our drive out of town to where we will be calling home come may 1st. There are so many things we need to check out to make sure this will be the right place for us. The weather there is going to be amazing 79 degrees both days. I would have to say one of those days is a beach day for sure. I cannot wait to move there it has so much to do we will never be bored. Lots of walking trails, casinos, even a mountain with snow is near by, sweet malls, amusement parks, and the beach is like 30 minutes away. I feel like i am going to be in heaven.........

Distractions required

Friday is my grandpa's exploratory surgery to see how bad the cancer is. I will be at the hospital most of my day. I am not looking forward to that. The only thing I am looking forward to is seeing my family that will all be there. This may be the last time I see them all together for quite some time. I am not nor have I ever been a real religious person but I find myself praying this will not be as bad as we all fear it is. My grandpa is high up there in age but has always taken wonderful care of himself. He goes to the gym everyday and eats right. I know the time will come when I lose him, but I just don't want to lose him to pain. I can honestly say I am so worried about this I have trouble sleeping and eating. I have lost 7 lbs since Friday alone. I just hope Friday some stress will be relieved.

Then on Sunday we leave to go explore where our new home will be. Three days away will be like a vacation lol so ready to be out of here. We are picking up flyer's for our new home and starting the application process. Thank god for this going on right now its a nice distraction. I have been looking up places to live and checking for Madison a preschool. Tons of research because I want to move where I can be proud to say I raised my family. May 1st seems so far away but I know it will be here before I know it. The last week of April my bff is throwing us a going away party which is so sweet of her. I know I am going to cry because some people I am going to miss alot. This is what is best for our family. Stockton has done nothing but be full of drama, anger, and stress. Life always has stress in it but you should do whatever it takes to have as little as possible. The less stress in your life the longer you live :)

My hero has fallen

Well for the first time I am going to post something not positive in my life I am going through. I just found out today my grandfather who is a huge role model to me has bladder cancer. He is the reason I followed my heart and went with my career. He pushed me to be better and knew I could do it. He was a heart surgeon with his own family practice up until about 5 years ago when we made him retire because he was well into his 80s and doing too much. He has a law degree from humphreys and was high up on the city council. He is a highly respected man in our community. My grandmother has parkinsons and he has been taking care of her daily since her diagnosis. She needs around the clock care. I feel like a knife has been jabbed in my heart. I am supposed to be up for work in 6 hours to work a 13 hour day and somehow I doubt I will be sleeping at all. I knew the day would come when he would pass due to age or due to illness. I just dont want him to be in any pain. He is a very prideful man and would never admit to being in pain.
My second fear is their estate. I know my grandmother will go soon after he does because she lives because of him. This will leave numerous homes they own, cars, original shegall and picaso paintings, stocks, and everything imaginable that he could invest in. He has millions of dollars. I am sick thinking about how my family is going to behave. One aunt I know is wanting everything that is jewlery to go to her and my other aunt. A comment was made that nothing should go to the grandchildren that is for their parents to decide. Well I want NOTHING! Then they want to sell all the houses. One of which my grandpa built on park woods dr and its beautiful he has been in it since 1955. How they could let that home go is horrible. I dont want to be here to see everyone peck at what they can to feel like it was all distributed evenly. I DO NOT WANT A DIME! I want nothing to do with this madness. I wish we were moving tomorrow. I dont want to live this horror right now. The family is about to be turned upside down and torn apart for greed and I want no part of it. I just hope they respect my grandmother when he passes and someone takes care of her. I will step up gladly if no one else will. But I am sure my aunt from chico will have none of that she runs the show. I am a person that values money but its money I make not the money of others.
So next friday I will be at the hospital all day while they perform exploratory surgery on his bladder to see how bad it is. If its bad the will close him up and say how long he has left. If its good maybe some chemo and removal. But will he do that. He is 87 years old and I know how stubborn and set in his ways he is. He will refuse treatment if it will only make him suffer more. So I am going to cherish what little time i have left with him. Go and support him at the hospital and offer to help in any way I can. God I love him so much and this hurts so bad :(

Monday is the best day

Tomorrow is a big day for me. I have alot going on. I have to take this test to see my skills and abilities which I know I am good at but I hate tests lol. I love schooling but hate tests. Then my hubby and I have decided to just drive somewhere and go walking. Maybe the beach or maybe up in the mountains. My daughter would love that. Since it is going to be such a beautiful day I figure why not go out and enjoy it. Then I am making a nummy chicken catchatori for dinner. Of course a movie and snuggle up with the Hun after. After working an 11 hour shift on Saturday then going to see Colette that night to going in today and working another 8 hours I'm tired. Need me a little break to relax and spend time with my loves. Colette was awesome but being in Modesto to see it sucked. GOD people are scummy in this area. The club was super small too so I was right in front of her dancing which rocked. The website is gonna have ALOT of photos of me and the man dancing hehe. Cannot wait to check them out.

So we decided march 14Th we are going to go look for our new home :) I could not be more excited. No more nasty valley. No more nasty people. I mean sure there are rude people everywhere but this area is full of scrummy people everywhere that take no pride in themselves and how they look. An inside joke with me and my cousin is if every you wake up feeling you look like crap go to the walmart in Stockton for an immediate confidence boost haha. I just cannot believe how people allow themselves to be seen looking like they just got rolled in the dumpster in the parking lot and walked in. I am so glad I take time to make myself look nice. Vanity is not bad at all you love yourself and love to look good for others. I am proud to say I am no walmart dresser. Food and hygiene stuff sure but clothing no f-ing way. Cannot wait to go shopping where we move I'm going to be in love its a shoppers heaven!

Excited for events coming up

So Saturday my hubby got off the night and we are going to see Colette! I am so excited. She was so awesome New Years Eve that when I heard she was coming back this way I had to go see her. I cannot believe she is coming to this area though. I don't have to drive to the bay to see her that is definitely a plus. We wont be drinking but a whole lot of dancing will be going on. Then in April Tiesto is coming back and we already bought our tickets. He is my absolute Favorite. This show will be much smaller and more intimate. The cow palace show was huge. I am hoping for a picture with him this time. I know I will be right next to him because the club is not the size of cow palace. Just another reason I love my man. He did not even know who tiesto was but he went with me anyways and loved it. Now he wants to go just as bad as I do hehe. We love dancing together. Then we get a night out alone about once every other month which is nice. We are not like some parents that go out every weekend and leave our children while we go drink and party. We would much rather be snuggling up by the fire watching a movie and going out for special occasions. Our life revolves around family first. I love my family so much

Another fine day at work

Today was so rewarding at my job. I was told "Thank you for everything you do and we don't know what we would do without you" This is why I chose this profession. Knowing that you help someone get through life is such an honor. I know I am going to miss this. I get attached so easily. As much as I dislike living where I am there are a few, yes a few people I will miss. My mother in law and father to start. My cuzzy Jenny which is about to have a baby which I wont be able to see much. My BFF and her family and a few select friends. All of them except my mother in law are so happy for us. She is mad we are moving and also having another baby she will not be able to spoil to death like my princess. She loves her grand baby and my princess will miss her grandma too that is for sure. But it is time to do what is best for our family.
Sometimes I wish we never came back. Although the area we moved to before was not a place to raise kids, it was definitely not as much drama as here. There were nice areas to live there where it was not scary to go walk alone. There is not one safe area here. I have friends telling me about bad stuff that happens in their neighborhood all the time. If I go on a trip and someone asks me where I am from I am embarrassed to say. I get told wow wasn't the place with the highest crime rate one year. How can a place with less people than San Francisco have such a crowd so undesirable? The schools here are horrid. Kids are learning nothing. They hire anyone now days with no experience and let them attempt to teach. I am so sending my daughter to private school. Public schools are not what they used to be. Who am I kidding they were bad when I was young and now even worse. I feel so blessed to have the opportunity to move and take my family to somewhere I can be proud to say I am from. June cannot come fast enough.............

So the day one began with us heading out at about 12pm. When we got there we did some shopping hehe so spoiled. Next we got to our room that was beautifully Tuscan themed with some flowers for me on the table :) How did I get so lucky with such a romantic and gorgeous man? Dinner for night one was at Olive Garden and I love their Steak Gorgonzola Pasta so tasty. Time for some drinks and hanging out with my lovie.
Day two began at 11am since we never get to sleep in that was nice. Down to the 3 story spa we go. We check in and get our plush robes and slippers to walk around in. The girls locker room had a steam room, sauna, hot and cold plunges and vanities with everything imaginable for a woman. My love and I meet on the third floor where they have a pool with a giant fountain heated to a lovely 85 degrees. Then some spa time. Now we hang out in some massage chairs eating fruit sipping champagne and water :) About 1pm they come get us for our treatments. First a couples massage and then facials which felt beautiful. Then I decided to get a salt scrub to make my skin soft and luminous and we both got pedicures. Back to the third floor to take a shower together in a shower called a cascade shower that sprays you from everywhere lol. What an awesome experience. Back to the room for some alone time ;)
Now it was time to get dressed up and go out to the place he proposed to me 5 years ago. Where I had the best fillet Mignon and asparagus. The food there is always awesome. I cannot believe its been five years since he got down on one knee in the same place in front of all those people. When we move away I am going to miss that place so much it will be so far. O well the price you pay to move away from the ghetto.
Day 3 time to come home and we had a blast but I did miss my princess. When we got home she was so happy to see us and we were happy to see her. She said you guys never leave me again HAHA. First time being away more than one night and she was all bent out of shape. Well since we are moving in June there wont be a sitter near by so she wont have to worry about it.

lets get it on :0

And I am off to enjoy my anniversary with my love :) More to come......

Just fabulous

Last night I had a wonderful evening with my cousins and my brother. Madison played so well with their kids while we sat and talked of times passed. I had a blast and love them all so very much. It has been nice having them all around more along with my brother. He has really got some good goals for himself now and I know he will get there. I did not start school til I was 26 years old so you can start at any time. I also took a break for a baby and to raise her for a year so life ends up for the best eventually. You have to have the ambition it does not matter how long it takes as long as you get there. Family comes first and career second and now that I have both going perfectly I feel fabulous.

I have been trying to be cool with everyone and stop the anger except for two people that I know will always be just plain nasty. I have made up with everyone else and it feels good to know that people can make up so easily when the genuine efforts are made. I missed one of the people I made up with alot :) Well there was only two people I felt I needed to make ammends with anyway so I did. The other two can just keep being a bunch of pathetic nags together I never needed either of them in my life and wish I never knew either one of them. But you cant pick and choose who you meet in life. You can just choose who you keep in your life and I know I made the right decision to just stop trying with both of them. I was warned but had to learn for myself just as we all do. Live and you learn.

One more day and me and my baby are off for our anniversary. I cannot wait to take lots of pictures. While I was looking online at my hearts on fire ring information I found the next half of it we will be getting next year for our 5 year anniversary. It is absolutely gorgeous. This will make my flawless ring almost 3 carats and if you have seen a hearts on fire ring you know they are the best diamonds you can get around here. All it takes is some research and you can find the best. :) Todd did a beautiful job picking mine. It is so unique and not plain and just some little solitare. He has good taste but I already knew that :) So a 5 year anniversary band and kauai all at the same time priceless. Soon it will be time for my cadillac SRX. I love that car and so does he. I am such a spoiled wife and mama and I love every minute of it. I will be bragging about my beautiful life til I am dead and gone. Because every year it just keeps getting better and better.

More to be happy about :-)

So today I had a fabulous lunch with my preggie girl Natasha. She looks so adorable and I cannot wait to meet her lil girl. I was telling her today me and my lovie are ready to start for number two. Madison will be such a wonderful little helper. She tells me she wants a little sister all the time but I told her she cannot choose haha. She is so affectionate and caring that I know she will help me out so much. Another reason why I waited is that I want some time between the two so one could be in preschool so I could focus time on my second. After that we are done. Two is perfect. So it begins hehe. Keep watching for that positive test. Now that I have began my career we decided let's do it! We have the money and by the time I have the baby we will be far from here so that works out perfect. June is moving month. It is finally set in stone. I am so glad to be getting out of this horrible town. I am also so happy about where I am moving to. People will want to come visit all the time. Prime location for fun :) I always wanted to move to this area but never thought I would be able to afford it or have someone so willing to leave here. He wants out of here more than I do believe it or not lmao.
This coming up Monday we leave for our anniversary. We have never had a couples massage before so it will be interesting. The spa is three stories of rest and relaxation. We are going to spend the whole day getting pampered. Then dinner at our beautiful steakhouse where he proposed 5 years ago. I admit that I am spoiled and love it :) Thank you to the grandparents for watching our lil princess for some much needed time alone. Four years married and going on six together. Wow how time flies when you are in love. I am such a lucky woman to have found him when I did. There was a time in my life when I was sad and filled with many regrets. Now life is filled with love and happiness.

Blinded by the fakers

Some days I wish I could just enlighten people so they would know that many people cannot be trusted. Why lie to yourself by thinking they will be different than what you have been told? Most of the time you will never actually know who they are. The only person I will allow to fully know me is my husband. I actually have for the first time one person in my life I let know me inside and out. So I find it so comical when others act like they know my personal life because I NEVER share that with anyone. I don't blast my life or personal issues on the Internet to feel better about myself or gain some pity from others. Personal information should remain personal!

Most people females usually lie and stab each other in the back for amusement. Most friendships are never truly real. I have had my share of being a bad friend to someone that never meant much to me. I know who I can and cannot trust. I consider myself a pretty good judge of character and treat people how I see them. I have been wrong about one or two people and I have openly admitted to one of them that I was wrong. I have two friends I consider BEST friends that I would do anything for. They love me for me and know I have my boundaries. I hate people that prod and pry into your life trying to know stuff that is none of their damn business. Friends like that are people that just need to worry about their own lives and stop being so nosey. I enjoy my privacy and my friends that respect that :)

I got that rock :) Hearts will always be on fire

As I sit reading my daughter Snow White I watch her face as she is soaking up every word I am saying. I find myself wondering if she actually understands what is going on in the book. So when I say the end she says " mommy that was a bad lady for trying to hurt snow white!" I say yes but the prince saved her in the end and she says " the dwarfs helped too mommy." All I can say is OMG she is like a sponge. She is going to do so well in school and I cannot wait to help her through it. She absolutely loves playing with other kids. Lately I have been trying to make sure I take her to my friends house to let her have a constant playmate. They love each other and it is so cute to see them get creative.

So I also found out about my anniversary plans and I am so freaking stoked. We got a gorgeous spa suite with a rainfall shower ahhhhh so nice. Next a full couples day at a spa getting the works to start it off at the Tuscany spa which is three stories of luxurious Tuscan themed settings. Massages, facials, couples bath area omg i read about it and got goose bumps. Then dinner at Sterling's where he proposed 5 years ago this valentine's day. Which is his bday too I might add. SOOOOOOO romantic I love it there. Then going out dancing. I love it I have a hot man that spoils me and loves to go dancing what more could a girl ask for? We are a perfect match because he will do whatever it takes to make me happy and I will do whatever it takes to make him happy :) Next year it's five year wedding anniversary time back to Kauai. I cannot wait we loved it there. I have such a blessed marriage. Yes everyone has bad times but I don't have those bad times in my relationship. We have never once doubted where we belong and that is with each other. So I can get through anything with this man by my side. I have the best years of my life ahead of me finally time to enjoy them!

Bow chicka wow wow

The man called in tonight hmmm what to do hehe. He called in to stay home and spend some time with me. Its so great that we have enough money that he can do that. Time to put a log on the fire, make a few drinks and turn on the tunes so we can enjoy this night together :). I am so lucky to have such a loving and thoughtful man. I cannot belive I have him for the rest of my life. Tonight is gonna be one to remember hehe.

For my sweets

I love that we have texting now :) Before it was just me that had the texting which I did with friends and a few classmates. Now that we both have it we cant stop lol. Its like him being home sometimes and not being able to keep his hands off me. Now he cants stop texting me all day and night even when he is upstairs SUPPOSED to be sleeping lol he is texting me. What he says well now that is for my eyes only hehe. Besides the fact that I am a private person when it comes to my love life so for people that say they know that makes me laugh cause I never kiss and tell :)
I feel like we are going to be that couple that is in their 80's still flirting like it just began. He is so cute and adorable its so hard to resist his charm. I feel so lucky and thank god everyday for bringing us together. Sometimes you have to have a real rotten egg to find the love of a lifetime. Next month 4 years woot and still going strong as ever. I love that I never have to worry where my man is or where he will be. He tells me everything which is why we rarely argue about anything. No relationship is perfect but this has to be as close as it gets. Love my honey xoxoxo :)

Soaring even higher

So I have a meeting with this school I am going to for my Bachelors and I am super excited to go see what will be going on :) I am a knowledge junkie and cannot wait to learn all there is to know in my field of work. I already have decided where I am going to specialize which takes some people a while to figure out. After starting to work I know where I belong. Some people are made to be in my profession while others go through it all and figure out its not meant for them. I had a few girls I went to school with that found out halfway through they couldn't hack it or got kicked out for poor performance. It takes strong mental capacity and critical thinking skills to know how to know what each individual needs.
I love what I do it is not about the money. Do not get me wrong financial stability is huge in the world today but I have always been someone that wanted to take care of others. As a child I was told I would be in this field and that I was always the mommy figure for everyone in the family. It took me a while to get here because sometimes priorities in life are not a career. I decided to be a mommy and be there for my child which I do not regret in the slightest. I could have been done three years ago but wanted to spend time with my family. Which created a bond like I have never felt before. We are such a close family like no other i have seen. My friends all know how I am about my family and respect me for it. I see them rarely because family comes first. Soon when I move all my friends will still be here and that is what I will have my family. That is all I need. I don't need people to like me or spend alot of time with me to know they care. My friends love me for me and know how I am. This is why I have the same friends since high school and grade school I shut new people out because I don't have interest in making friends I have great ones already :)

Mini Vacay

So I just got back from a wonderful trip with my family :) I love how I can say hey lets get away I am sick of where we live and we can just pick up and go freely. I wish we could have stayed longer it was wonderful and full of passion. I feel like I have reconnected with my love for the first time since I got done with school. We were so close before school but after the long hours both of us were putting in it was hard to have some quality time. Over the last 3 months we have done so much together and I did not realize how much I missed being with him.
This is why I decided to work part time I really want to raise my family and spend time with my love. Its so nice to be in a career I love and where there is opportunity to pick and choose where you work.

:) im so lucky

So my daughter got a barbie karaoke toy she can sing with and its so cute to hear her sing all the songs from it like "girls just wanna have fun." She learns the songs like within a day its so funny. I cannot believe how fast she has grown. She starts preschool when we move and she is already so smart! We have the most wonderful preschool picked out that we have done alot of research on. She can sing all of her ABC's, count to 20, knows her left from her right and her colors. I have been teaching her how to recognize all the letters and numbers now. Before I know it she will be writing them all.

Well being a parent I have this need to give her everything in life she deserves. A future that she can be proud of. I want her to go to college right away and get things done right at an early age. I want to be able to pay for all of this. I guess you would have to be a parent to know how it feels to want to support your children and not struggle. I have watched many of my friends and family in pain because they cannot give their children the lives they had hoped for. This is why I waited til I was 27 to have a child. Also this is why I waited to make sure it was the right man. I did not want to have a child with someone I barely knew or someone that was immature. I have regrets in my life but the one about my child will never be one of them. I made all the right choices in that matter now I want to make all the right choices I can for the rest of her life. Being a mother is wonderful I cherish every moment with her and no one can take those moments away.

Lately I have been thinking I want another baby then I will be done :) My daughter needs a sibling to share her life with. I have also enjoyed being a mother so much I am eager to do it again. Children are such blessings. All children are gifts to be enjoyed. I will be that mother that my daughter loves to go shopping with and be around when she is a teenager. Not that overbearing and tempermental parent I see with their kids. I want my kids to be able to come and talk to me about their lives and share with me their experiences. I have so much to look forward to in the coming years and I cannot wait.

Has a cold but not even that will bring me down

So I have had this nasty cold all week and I have totally lost my appetite a long with all my energy lol. Even though I have felt like crap I have had a ton of people offer to come and help me out. Or offer some home remedies haha. I am so lucky to have such great people in my life to help me through the tough times :) I dont know where I would be without 3 wonderful ladies and one wonderful man.
We finally know where we are moving to its set. The area is absolutely beautiful. Finally a place where I can say I will be proud to raise my family. I have a job lined up and everything is in order. I am so excited. I am going to transfer there and all moving expenses paid! I am going to miss working where I am now because the people there are so awesome. I cannot remember the last time I said I LOVE MY JOB lol. I am sure my job waiting for me will be awesome too.
I also start school there in march which I am glad I am starting again so soon so I dont get out of the swing of things. Finally having my bachelors and I have worked so hard to get here. Did I mention my new job is paying for the schooling as long as I sign a two year contract with them? OMG someone pinch me because I cannot help but feel like I must have done something right to be getting all this :) Well I will keep you all posted. This is connected to my facebook now so all my friends can keep up with me hehe.